Monday, August 3, 2009

Common Misconceptions About Things Which Don't Matter

And my mom's gonna kill me because I'm using deodorant with aluminuminnit

and there has to be a way of figuring this out

Hello this is the _________ this is ________ speaking.

Underline blank spacey things are pronounced like this:

“KKAHHHCHAAAHKAHAHHACHAHAAA”

and that is pronounced like static

Don't predictive text me, asshole, like you can ever guess what I'm gonna write next

I'm a renegade

Renegade

I'm a KKKAHHHHCHAAAKHHAKAHCHHAAAA


in the beginning was the word was the word was the word was the word

and the word was with God God God God God God GodGodGodGodGodGod

and the word was _________________

and we're shaking as we're doing this

and the word was God


in the beigning was the word wasnd thword was god

In the beginning was the Word

the Word

the bird is the word

the word is the bird and the word was god and god made the birds with the wordy birdy bird bird

He was in the beginning with God

All things were made with him and without him nothing was made nothing was made nothing was made nothing mawasamdwhatodntongit was made

and my mom is gonna KILL me

I'm using DEODORANT

and it has ALUMINUMinnit

I'm shaking

Oh my Word I'm shaking

Oh my God I'm shaking

(What an obvious connection)

(Did you notice how I said “oh my word” then I said “oh my God”)

(I did that to highlight the Bible passages I just quoted, because they talk about god and words and like how they're the same and stuff)


paragraph BREAK

nothing was made

nothing was made

that has been made

not even lemonade was made

and that's a promise but I'm scared of that promise

and I'm trembling in my boots

in him was lfie and the lfie was tehlight of men.

Because that's something that makes sense. Get it?

Nothing was made til the light of men was lifed.

Til was the men of nothing light was lifed made.

the ligh of men.


KAHHAHCHCAAHHKKK


and if you life fish and grits and all that pimp shit

everybody let me hear you say Oh yay-er

KKKAHAHAHHKKKKAHCAAA


Where my ladies at?

What

Where my ladies at?

What

Throw yo hands up

Throw yo hands up

Throw yo hands up


KAKKKKKKK


Common Misconceptions About Things Which Don't Matter

  1. Lightbulbs – come on down!

  2. Thinking things about stuff

  3. Dishwasher Detergent – Try a free sample, today!

  4. Very large rodents and their mannerisms

  5. The Female Sex: Where Do They Keep It?

  6. Just how angry are you?

  7. Airborne diseases

  8. _____________________________________

CHHHHH

The light shines in the darkness

and the darkness has not overcome it overcome it overcome it overcome it overcome it overcome it overcome it overcome it overcome it overcome it overcome it

but when it does

we be all like _______________________


Damn predictive text predicting my shit. It can predict the word “predict” now. My words are making themselves. I'm just the great typer and you can go make yourself and stuff and I'll just sit back and push things

KKAAHHHCHAHAKAHHAHAHCHAKAHAAAA


but if the darkness over comes it...we'll be here.

we're walking pooping artifacts that this is as real as it gets

...arti-cats


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