Sunday, June 26, 2011

60's Pop Fetish

I like to clumsily scour YouTube for videos I like - and if you're friends with me on Facebook and my newsfeed goes into your newsfeed, this fact is probably too obvious.

I've recently developed a deep and lasting love for old pop shows, with a recent infatuation on the 60's. There's something about the simplistic bombast (yes, I said simplistic bombast) of background dancers, backing bands, and maybe just old-timey hair-dos that get me going. Early television is always a blast to watch.
Here are some of my recent fun finds, hope you likey:

Del Shannon performing "Runaway" on the show Hollywood A Go-Go. What I know of this show, via Wikipedia, it was a not very long-running show based out of LA. It lasted for about a year ('64-'65) but featured some pretty famous peeps, such as like, Smokey Robinson, Aretha Franklin, James Brown, & Sonny Cher. I love this clip of Del Shannon. The go-go girls trotting around the stage just gets me.

The Shangri-las performing "Leader of the Pack"
I've been doing a certain amount of digging to figure out what show this is. There are two different leads. The first is from a YouTube commenter pointing out that the motorcycle rider is Robert Goulet, a Canadian entertainer - which makes them believe it is on his and his wife's (Carol Lawrence) show. However, I see no evidence of them ever having a show together.
The other is that it's from the game show "I've Got a Secret" on CBS. The video has "Game Show" icon on the top right, which makes this seem fairly likely. And perhaps since it's not such a pop show format leads to why the video is also so goofy.
Also I fully support motorcycles on stage.

Sylvie Vartan performing "Irresistiblement"
This video took me FOREVER to find (considering that we're on the internet, so really, not that long). Vartan is a favorite Ye-Ye girl of mine, and this is probably my favorite jam of hers. I'd read about this video, but hadn't been able to find it UNTIL NOW. This aired in December of 1968 on the show "Jolie Poupee", which is also the name of a song she performs later alongside a doll version of herself(cool vid too, I just like this song more.) Earlier in 1968 Vartan had been in a car accident, but was able to recover and go back on tour in a couple months - which may be why she goes slightly easier on herself in this video than she often does.

Small Faces performing "All or Nothing"
Well, okay, they're performing on the street, so this isn't exactly a pop show. But it's such a cool video of them, and I love the people walking in front of the camera and dropping coins in the hat(such greed. GOD.) This is apparently in Stockholm, though I'm not entirely certain.
I have burgeoning love for Small Faces and the Mods, as well as a huge boner for Steve Marriot. He's a great performer and his voice gives me the shivs. (Shivs: see Shivers)
I believe this was filmed 66ish-67ish.

Okee doke, that's all. Have a great day folks.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Some General Instructions

Make sure to eat a varied diet of fruits and veggies. It'll increase your enjoyment of The Earth's flora. It also keep you happy and healthy, and it'll probably be easier to get laid. Remember that nobody likes an ugly bitch.

If you usually always wear a bra, sometimes don't wear it.

Remember how to read and write. These things will come in handy some day and you'll be glad you took the time out of your day to figure these out.

Nobody stares at your face as much as the entire world does. How often do you get to stare in your face? Make an effort to look at it more. Figure out it's curves. Remember it's fine lines. Anticipate future wrinkles but learn to appreciate the ones you've already acquired. It's fine to be disappointed in yourself and your life choices but don't wallow about stupid shits for too long.

Think of interesting cuss words and fun ways to spell them on the internet. Try saying: "I don't give a wigwam, for fux sake."

Remember that a lot of things are offensive to different cultures. You're just one culture. And you might be offending yourself at times.

Listen to hip-hop.

Find interesting ways to move your body. Then move your body that way around people you don't know very well and see if they treat you differently than other people do. But remember that this could simply be because you don't know them very well and they're just different. Of course, it could also be because you're moving differently.

It's often hard to know things for sure.

When you're on the phone with people, make sure to ask them what they're wearing. People appreciate other people being interested in them.

Try to go to the bathroom regularly. Be careful when you wash your hands. Make sure they're actually getting clean.

If you're bored, you can always try going to a museum. They're often free. Or else really expensive. That generally is an indicator of how interesting a museum is. If it's free it's probably because they don't have anything good and can't afford someone to work at the front counter anyway, and they figure they can save on labor if they just take away the need to collect money. As well as saving on machinery to ring people up. Credit card machines can be expensive, since no one has cash on them anymore.

If you have cash, try to exchange all the bills in for golden dollars. They're very special and are worth twice as much. You can get rich this way.
If you get a lot of golden dollars, put it in a clever sack and wear it around your waist. That way you can easily access your treasure, as well as have a good conversation piece.

Severe food allergies can be a menace. Try not to antagonize people who have them. You never know when they're going to snap.

Don't drink too much.

It's not a bad idea to try out being religious for awhile. And if it doesn't work for you, don't beat yourself up. You can always try out something else to give your life meaning. There's plenty of time for being wishy-washy with your eternity.

Do your laundry more than once a month. Don't waste water, but come on. If your clothes are smelly no one will really like being around you.

If you fall in love with someone, make sure to surprise them once in awhile. Get an exotic pet. Open the door wearing a tutu. Write them a poem. Make sure the poem doesn't suck so bad. But if it does suck, you can make up for the suckiness by playing minimalist guitar riffs and reading your poem over the music. Lots of shitty poets have found success in relationships this way.

If you don't have health insurance, be bitter about it. It's unfair and a method of passive aggressive long-term euthanizing. Your country is being a dick face.

When posing for pictures, don't try too hard. You want it to still look like you so that no one is disappointed when they see the real you.

As you go through life, you might find you need to marry for money. This is okay as long as you can be a good cook. They'll probably appreciate your contributions to the union, and not mind buying you good ingredients and clever flatware.

When out to dinner with other people, do not throw up onto other people's plates.

Remember that everything dies. You're dying. You're dying right now. Watch yourself in the mirror so you can see what death looks like.
Remember that you can't live without dying though. Remark upon this fact.
Tattoo it on your body so that you don't forget. As you grow older watch the tattoo morph with the sagging contours of your body. Pay attention to the liver spots that grow underneath the ink of the tattoo.
This will help you remember how true of a fact that all is.

Don't hurt people in ways that are dumb.

Slippers can be a very wise investment. They bring comfort and warmth around the home.

If you must have pets, don't ignore them.

Don't make lists that use letters to organize the points. That's going against what God created letters for. They are for making pictures of sounds - not for counting.

Don't stay at your house all day. Get outside. Spy on your neighbors. Stretch out. Run around the block. Play hopscotch with the neighbor kids. Go buy a fifth of whiskey. Drink the whiskey as you walk around in circles in your yard.
Once you have finished the fifth of whiskey, go out on the town and see who you can get to hang out with you. You might meet somebody nice who'll sleep with you, or maybe you can at least find a new friend who might sleep with you someday.
Don't give up if you meet no one at the first place you go. Try the park. Lots of lonely and nice people hang out at parks. But no matter how it turns out, at least you've already gotten out of the house today which means you can go back to your house and have a nice time sitting around and watching television.
Maybe there's some good reruns of Malcolm in the Middle on UPN. You like that show. It's humorous and silly but satisfying to watch. Don't get too frustrated during the commercials. You can always turn the television on mute during the commercials, or get up and fix yourself a ham sandwich. This will be nice to eat as well as help sop up the pool of alcohol sitting in your stomach from the fifth of whiskey.
Once you've made your sandwich, you can put it on a plate and grab a napkin, and maybe the commercials will be finished by then. You must be cautious because it's easy to miss the first 30 seconds, or even minute, of the show if you aren't quick enough. This can be disappointing and make the plot line rather confusing. With enough practice you'll probably be able to anticipate the length of commercial breaks, or learn the theme music to Malcolm in the Middle well enough to where you can run out of your kitchen and back over to your couch, with your sandwich and napkin, quick enough to where you don't miss anything.

If you go out on dates with people, be friendly and tell them you had a nice time. Unless you didn't. Don't lie to them. Only ever tell them the truth no matter how boring it is.

If you have a basket, put all of these pieces of advice inside of this poem in the basket. Carry that basket around with you so that you can remember this poem easily. If you're unsure how to act in a situation, confer with the basket. It'll know what you need to do. Relax and trust. You need to live your life to at least some extent.

Now, Go. The poem has ended. live in peace.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

I'm Cold and It's a Sunday

It's not hilarious - it's a sign of life.

I'm going to sit here and drink wine with one hand, but I'm going to set the glass down to type. These are two events that seem to be happening simultaneously - but it's a ruse. I'm tricking a huge giant who lives high in the sky and only sees me as tiny piece of dust, typing on a computer and drinking wine at the same time. But if he's could get off of his stupid ass sky house and take a real look at the goddam situation for once in his fucking life...maybe he would see that I don't drink wine while I type.

That's confusing and potentially hazardous to my computer. Idiot.

Another interesting development:
i just lit a cigarette and started smoking it. I had to stop typing altogether, AND not be drinking wine. The giant might see this as an anomaly, if he took the time to carefully watch (WHICH HE WOULDN'T. fuckin giants). he'd probably study it, until he sees a common enough pattern and realize that
"...this appears to be just another habit the tiny dust mite has. Though it is interesting to note that the creature seems to have less anxiety about performing the acts of 'typing' and 'smoking' simultaneously. I have noted a frequent, yet clumsy and haphazardous pattern of, what I have come to call, 'smoping' where the creature lackadaisically leaves a cigarette in her mouth and tries to type without getting too much smoke into it's small centered eyeballs."

This is a weird rant. I think it's over now.

But in other important news:
-Should I continue to stay out here? Should I go inside and make guacamole?
-I probably wouldn't get around to eating much guacamole tonight, honestly.
-But if I make it now I won't have to make it tomorrow. and guac really needs to sit a bit to be really delicious.
-whoa, what if my avocados still aren't ripe enough for all the squishing?
-maybe I'll just watch a movie and fall asleep. I have some pretty sweet movies laying around.
-I'm wearing a onesie for adult humans.
-upside: really comfy. downside: going to the bathroom.
-note: must input crotchal snaps into the adult human onesie.

Really though: typing in all caps is so joyous. It's like the running down a hill screaming for the internet.

Or being the weird autistic kid at the party.

There's a mostly dead cat whose been wandering around my house living the last dregs of his life near my porch. It's depressing and has got to be a bad omen.

I put the men in menstrual cycle.

I'm still cold and it's still Sunday. Fiddleeee deee.

Life makes it dreary march on the steps of my porch. Limping along with Space Aids.

this all sounds really depressing, but I'm not really sure I'm in a bad mood. Moods are just moods. They float around like tiny specks of dust moving and pushing nothing that really matters. and if you never clean you get a build up on the top of your record player, and it looks like you never use any of the cool toys you own.

Speaking of dust, I'm allergic to it. I'm allergic to fucking dust. How does that become an actual allergy? We're allegedly made from dust, and we're going to become dust again at some point. I was told that most Ash Wednesdays of my whole life. Does this all mean that I'm allergic to the state of not being alive?

I mean, that's actually a fair thing to say. But maybe a little redundant.

Unless, when I die, I'll just give myself a huge sneezing fit. And thats what death will be like. Pretty dumb, kinda weird, and really boring.