Wednesday, March 26, 2008


I found your words
They're laying in the mud on the side of the road
Sad and discarded
I'm sorry they got lost there, or you dropped them, or maybe they expired and were thrown out.
I would have pulled them out and given them back,
but it was raining
and I was very, very cold.

I found your thoughts
in the alley that people cut through
to bypass the one-way streets
They're potholed and full of parked cars
You lost your thoughts there
I found them but I was rushing,
splashing in the puddles.

A man hit me with good intentions
as I sneezed past him on the street
soaked through to my damp, fleshy skin
Bless you he said
I took as much as I could and
am happy to share them with you
As long as you stop being
so damn careless.

Friday, March 21, 2008

More like Great Friday

So it's Good Friday, and I'm at a loss for how to (celebrate)(remember)(honor)(high five) about it. Things get a lot more confusing when the Christianity of your parents becomes different than your own. It's supposed to be. If this was an easy task for me, then it probably means that I haven't progressed or changed at all, and am a really, really, thoughtless creature.

I'm not really into the whole "let's sit around and weep for the loss of Jesus Christ, and then get really excited on Sunday" dogma. It's actually never made sense to me that Good Friday has been a gloomy day. Wasn't he supposed to die the whole time? Wasn't that the whole plan? Isn't this the best and most exciting thing that ever happened to us?

Good Friday is actually my favorite (holiday)? Holiday? Hm. Yes. Holiday. I always have gotten really excited about it, then really depressed when I realized that all the services were these gloom ridden dirges about how shitty we and everyone else is for killing Jesus. He didn't do it for any other reason except for love -- can't we at least be a bit chipper about that?

I know, I know. Solemnity doesn't necessarily imply sadness. Being quiet and reflecting is one thing, but drearily trudging through the day, picturing that at THIS EXACT MOMENT 2,008 years ago Jesus was hanging on the cross, pissed off and angry at all the evil Jewish and Roman fellers that nailed him an entirely different thing.

We're all loved more than we can comprehend. We're all loved more than makes sense. Science is baffled, and magic is transcended. This time of year is proof to us that our God is a loving God, and isn't out there just to mess with us.

If you think my theology is whack, go ahead and tell me. I've spent my entire life learning how wrong I am and saying I'm sorry about it.
And just so you know, so far how I've celebrated Good Friday was this:
"Hey Ian, Happy Good Friday."
"Oh, yeah! Happy Good Friday!"
And we clinked coffee mugs.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Use Your God-given Imagidamnation

I think I'm going to take a brain dump on you. Here goes!

Dear Theresa,

Maybe if you did your homework, your life would stop being so STUPID!

Love, Me.

Dear Me,

In the long run, will I look back and say: "Oh good. I'm so glad I got that paper done in time!" ?

Love, Theresa

Dear Theresa,


Love, Me

P.S. Cool punctuation overload at the end of your letter.

Dear Me,

I see your point.

But screw you, anyway.

Love, Theresa

P.S. Thanks! I was hoping you'd like that.

I think the above explains my situation better than I ever could, and besides IT'S SO DULL, so I don't want to extrapolate anymore. Instead, I will make a top ten list.

Top Ten Things (Which Remind Me of Better Days)

10. Large, awkward, stuffed bears.
9. Candle light on top of a cliff, looking down into your soul.
8. Pie!!
7. Agoraphobia.
6. Rainy nights, tangy bites.
5. Twice the burger, for half the price!
4. Piranhas...just piranhas.
3. Pirates - making their way in a world that's turned against them.
2. Owning five pairs of the same socks (chuckle chuckle).
1. The fact that you read this list. Haha! You're crazier than I am!

Now I'm cackling to myself.

Top Ten Good Things That Have Happened So Far Today (Though I've Only Been Awake Two Hours!)

10. Woke up alive.
9. Woke up in a warm bed. Snice.
8. Free latte.
7. One and a HALF bagels.
6. England will happen. Probably.
5. I wrote two more paragraphs for my paper.
4. Realizing how well I can count backwards.
3. I cackled.
2. Woke up in America - wear bald eagles are bald, and we like it.
1. Writing this blog entry.
0. Wait! What's going on??!!
-1. This is alarming.
-2. This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to end at 1.
-3. The day has taken an alarming turn in a bad direction.
-4. Seconds of my life being torn from me!
-5. Paper!
-6. Bagel is gone!
-7. Out of coffee!
-8. It's raining!
-9. I count backwards too much!!
-10. America!

That is all. Back to my paper, which is titled: Shakespeare and Why He Sucks (Oh, If You Only Knew).

Monday, March 17, 2008

This One is For You ...Ypsi.

Wrote this last night, as I imagined some guy shooting down my window. But really, it was just a cat.

You scare me Ypsilanti.
Daytime you are a lover, but at night you show your fangs.
I wake up and ask what kind of dumbass steals trash cans --
while you sheath your knife, and smile like a house wife.