4 minutes and 36 second will have gone by by the time this is finished.
First the oceand little bumps skirt around with no idea for life and the circumstances that are not really all that forboding when you think about it right..heyyy anyone want a pencil?
You are the scariest little piece of hometown magic I've ever touched.
Copenhagen? Nah, I seriously doubt it.
How did they find you? Did they see you on the mountain when you were flagging down what was left of the country? Flying by inside a periscope?
Sometimes sentences are too long.
Some sentences are too short.
Most sentences are manifested in some way.
Thats a relatively safe assertion.
Silence for a little while. Maybe because I'm really excited about what the song is doing right now and lots of little voices tittling around for awhile. Jumbling around and I wonder if I should fix typos.
Not because they're such a linguistic fascination, but because I feel its sort of insincere to the exercise.
God I wish i was in a different country now. I wish I was in a small village and I had a garden.
I would sell vegetables from this garden on the side of the road.
And I would make scarves. I would make scarves from the wool from the sheeps from the neighbors that live a mile down the road from me and my garden.
And maybe my husband could work in the town, or maybe he could work at home. But we could go on walks in the dark at night and splash in the river.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
And now, a word from our sponsors:
It's official: The UK loves Shapes most of all. I get at least 200 hits a day from people googling Shapes from the UK.
I don't deserve to be awake right now. I'm tired, I drank a lot, my tummy wants food, and I can't sleep.
But all I have is cheesecake right now.
It's like I keep accidentally spoiling myself rotten, and I'm not particularly pleased with it, but if it were any other way I'd feel like I was missing out.
Is this what being in your 20s is all about?
A little snippet of Kenneth 'cause this is my mood right now:
from "To My Twenties"
Kenneth do you have a minute?
And I say yes! I am in my twenties!
I have plenty of time! In you I marry,
In you I first go to France; I make my best friends
In you, and a few enemies. I
Write a lot and am living all the time
And thinking about living. I loved to frequent you
After my teens and before my thirties.
You three together in a bar
I always preferred you because you were midmost
Most lustrous apparently strongest
Although now that I look back on you
What part have you played?
My roommate just said "Congratuacheesecake." I suppose I deserve that.
After my roommate said that, and I typed that, I started watching light reflecting off of my hair in the glare of my laptop.
I don't like looking at exclamation points when I'm tired and hungover.
Such as like, this pains me:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is what I say when I see that:
"OMG STOP JUMPING ON THAT DAMN TRAMPOLINE AND SCREAMING ABOUT SEX YOU DAMN KIDS."
but really? There's no trampoline - there's just lines and dots, okay? Lines and dots. Chew that one up and digest it. MFin' lines and dots.
Maybe I need to start knowing more intrepid young adventurers.
To fill you in on what just happened: I wrote the above sentence, looked at it disgruntled, and then wandered into the kitchen and ate a leftover half-piece of cheesecake. Matt and I know what we're doing with that cheesecake. Congratuacheesecake, everyone.
So I ate that, then I watched this girl wandering around outside of our neighboring apartment builiding. The building is about 20 feet away from our kitchen window so too many private experiences are shared. But she was wandering around with her white comforter over her head and obviously unsure of what she should be doing with it. Get your shit together, I said to her through the window. What are you doing with it? You're wandering back and forth. You're a mess, and EVERYONE is watching you. Everybody knows that you're just wandering around with a fluffy comforter over your head, probably hung-0ver. I wasn't sure if she was going to go picnic and lie down on it,or if she was throwing it in the dumpster. Eventually she flung it over what's left of an old laundry line, clumsily and sadly. Then she kept peeking under it, maybe to check for tiny monsters.
Gretchen: "Oh! she must be German."
Theresa: "Because she needs to figure her shit out?"
Gretchen: "No, Germans air out their comforters a lot."
See, I guess that makes sense.
I'm just crotchety and over-stimulated. If I can't handle someone airing out their comforter, I don't think I could handle intrepid young adventurers. At least not yet.
Queueueueueueueueueueueueueue - interesting point, eh?
Janet, who I'm talking with over the World Wide Web, just said this:
mmmm No, but I don't live with any Brits so our food is generally "international". Do steer clear of the Kipper though. Beware the Kipper! Oh it is soo not worth it. gag.
I believe she might be right.
It's amazing how many things I can do within one blog post:
-Berate neighbors
-Eat cheesecake
-Bitch about exclamation points
-Bitch about British cuisine
-Talk to a friend in another country
-Talk to two roommates
-Take headache medicine
-Half-heartedly wash a few dishes
-Read Kenneth Koch
-Feel hungry
Well I'd say this about wraps up this episode of "The Ornery Ponderings of HangOverVille: Theresa Blogs Instead of Sleeps." I've had a wonderful time, and I hope you have too. See you next week!
I don't deserve to be awake right now. I'm tired, I drank a lot, my tummy wants food, and I can't sleep.
But all I have is cheesecake right now.
It's like I keep accidentally spoiling myself rotten, and I'm not particularly pleased with it, but if it were any other way I'd feel like I was missing out.
Is this what being in your 20s is all about?
A little snippet of Kenneth 'cause this is my mood right now:
from "To My Twenties"
Kenneth do you have a minute?
And I say yes! I am in my twenties!
I have plenty of time! In you I marry,
In you I first go to France; I make my best friends
In you, and a few enemies. I
Write a lot and am living all the time
And thinking about living. I loved to frequent you
After my teens and before my thirties.
You three together in a bar
I always preferred you because you were midmost
Most lustrous apparently strongest
Although now that I look back on you
What part have you played?
My roommate just said "Congratuacheesecake." I suppose I deserve that.
After my roommate said that, and I typed that, I started watching light reflecting off of my hair in the glare of my laptop.
I don't like looking at exclamation points when I'm tired and hungover.
Such as like, this pains me:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is what I say when I see that:
"OMG STOP JUMPING ON THAT DAMN TRAMPOLINE AND SCREAMING ABOUT SEX YOU DAMN KIDS."
but really? There's no trampoline - there's just lines and dots, okay? Lines and dots. Chew that one up and digest it. MFin' lines and dots.
Maybe I need to start knowing more intrepid young adventurers.
To fill you in on what just happened: I wrote the above sentence, looked at it disgruntled, and then wandered into the kitchen and ate a leftover half-piece of cheesecake. Matt and I know what we're doing with that cheesecake. Congratuacheesecake, everyone.
So I ate that, then I watched this girl wandering around outside of our neighboring apartment builiding. The building is about 20 feet away from our kitchen window so too many private experiences are shared. But she was wandering around with her white comforter over her head and obviously unsure of what she should be doing with it. Get your shit together, I said to her through the window. What are you doing with it? You're wandering back and forth. You're a mess, and EVERYONE is watching you. Everybody knows that you're just wandering around with a fluffy comforter over your head, probably hung-0ver. I wasn't sure if she was going to go picnic and lie down on it,or if she was throwing it in the dumpster. Eventually she flung it over what's left of an old laundry line, clumsily and sadly. Then she kept peeking under it, maybe to check for tiny monsters.
Gretchen: "Oh! she must be German."
Theresa: "Because she needs to figure her shit out?"
Gretchen: "No, Germans air out their comforters a lot."
See, I guess that makes sense.
I'm just crotchety and over-stimulated. If I can't handle someone airing out their comforter, I don't think I could handle intrepid young adventurers. At least not yet.
Queueueueueueueueueueueueueue - interesting point, eh?
Janet, who I'm talking with over the World Wide Web, just said this:
mmmm No, but I don't live with any Brits so our food is generally "international"
I believe she might be right.
It's amazing how many things I can do within one blog post:
-Berate neighbors
-Eat cheesecake
-Bitch about exclamation points
-Bitch about British cuisine
-Talk to a friend in another country
-Talk to two roommates
-Take headache medicine
-Half-heartedly wash a few dishes
-Read Kenneth Koch
-Feel hungry
Well I'd say this about wraps up this episode of "The Ornery Ponderings of HangOverVille: Theresa Blogs Instead of Sleeps." I've had a wonderful time, and I hope you have too. See you next week!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Preliminary Reports Suggest Results to be Lamer Than Facebook Projected
It's not that I don't think about my poems, its just that I'll lose my nerve if I don't have a five minute turn around from inspiration to creation. The difference between thinking and thinking hard is propaganda. NAZI propaganda - the only kind there is.
Well I don't know about you but I'd rather end this conversation midsentence. before I make any tumbling errors in brevity or start talking about nature or some shit like a big faker whose words don't flow as quick as they could so instead they
stop and quiver before writing their words and shake out a few more syllables from their pen and hope that no one has noticed
what A BIG FAKER they are but it's ok.
It's hard to put this stuff together sometimes so relax. baby there are other scraps
to chew on and more morsels to remember at just the right moment before you finally drop your hands
and lean in for the most memorable kiss of your life.
Trust me. We'll remind you. about it.
Couldn't forget if we tried like a bunch of assholes sitting around waiting for the biggest chili cook-off ever to get going. No No Stevenson, the hot chilis go over there. God what an asshole.
Maybe we should just go sneak off for a quick cuddle.
The fall is so lovely this time of year.
I got a 10$ traffic ticket from the city of Ypsilanti. I wrote 1/3 of a poem on the envelope they gave me. Should I mail it in that way? It's like fighting the man, but in a really lame way.
Here's a list of things that I'm not doing right now:
-Sitting inside of an infrared sauna
-Listening to Kurt Cobain talk
-Pretending I'm from the Middle Ages
-Eating noodles
-Licking a dictionary
-Wearing an orange bandanna
-Fighting big time crime in a little city
-Writing a poem on the back of a parking ticket
-Sweating
Can you guess what I'm doing right now??
Well I don't know about you but I'd rather end this conversation midsentence. before I make any tumbling errors in brevity or start talking about nature or some shit like a big faker whose words don't flow as quick as they could so instead they
stop and quiver before writing their words and shake out a few more syllables from their pen and hope that no one has noticed
what A BIG FAKER they are but it's ok.
It's hard to put this stuff together sometimes so relax. baby there are other scraps
to chew on and more morsels to remember at just the right moment before you finally drop your hands
and lean in for the most memorable kiss of your life.
Trust me. We'll remind you. about it.
Couldn't forget if we tried like a bunch of assholes sitting around waiting for the biggest chili cook-off ever to get going. No No Stevenson, the hot chilis go over there. God what an asshole.
Maybe we should just go sneak off for a quick cuddle.
The fall is so lovely this time of year.
I got a 10$ traffic ticket from the city of Ypsilanti. I wrote 1/3 of a poem on the envelope they gave me. Should I mail it in that way? It's like fighting the man, but in a really lame way.
Here's a list of things that I'm not doing right now:
-Sitting inside of an infrared sauna
-Listening to Kurt Cobain talk
-Pretending I'm from the Middle Ages
-Eating noodles
-Licking a dictionary
-Wearing an orange bandanna
-Fighting big time crime in a little city
-Writing a poem on the back of a parking ticket
-Sweating
Can you guess what I'm doing right now??
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Remembering to Make Out and Other Stories
Meh. It's been awhile. I haven't felt like writing poetry (or shitting it out, or whatever I do). All I feel like doing is reading about nature and farming and how to stop buying things.
Which is pretty rad I guess.
Bad for blogging.
Right now I'm sitting at work, with a dirty plate next to me that used to have homemade pizza on it (my mommy made it) and also a water bottle which I'd say is only 1/8th full of water right now.
Between what I just wrote and writing this, I finished my water, turned down the music (it got randomly loud and I can't stand that), then talked with Ian about why my blog keeps getting so many hits. But just about shapes, and I only get tons of hits in random spurts from particular countrys (currently, it's the UK who is interested in shapes.)
Turns out, though, I am the first Google image result if you search "Shapes". I'm pretty proud of myself.
Here is a little ditty I just came up with:
Spiders spider Why do you spider Are you a spider? Magic potion, evil lotion crazy finessing carpal tunnel don't forget the pudding package.
Here's a bunch of written noises you can say outside to yourself - but only if you'd like.
SCHHHHHHHHH
PLONK (a personal favorite)
SPPPONNNNNNGGGG
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRLLLLLL
KRRRR
OPRRRRR
TAJATAJATAJATAJATAJA
BLOOPBOOP
GORPY GORPYGORPYGORRRR
PANDA
Interestingly enough that last noise is also a word. That word looks like this: Panda.
Here's a picture of a Panda:
Which is pretty rad I guess.
Bad for blogging.
Right now I'm sitting at work, with a dirty plate next to me that used to have homemade pizza on it (my mommy made it) and also a water bottle which I'd say is only 1/8th full of water right now.
Between what I just wrote and writing this, I finished my water, turned down the music (it got randomly loud and I can't stand that), then talked with Ian about why my blog keeps getting so many hits. But just about shapes, and I only get tons of hits in random spurts from particular countrys (currently, it's the UK who is interested in shapes.)
Turns out, though, I am the first Google image result if you search "Shapes". I'm pretty proud of myself.
Here is a little ditty I just came up with:
Spiders spider Why do you spider Are you a spider? Magic potion, evil lotion crazy finessing carpal tunnel don't forget the pudding package.
Here's a bunch of written noises you can say outside to yourself - but only if you'd like.
SCHHHHHHHHH
PLONK (a personal favorite)
SPPPONNNNNNGGGG
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRLLLLLL
KRRRR
OPRRRRR
TAJATAJATAJATAJATAJA
BLOOPBOOP
GORPY GORPYGORPYGORRRR
PANDA
Interestingly enough that last noise is also a word. That word looks like this: Panda.
Here's a picture of a Panda:
Most, but not all, pandas are black and white.
Are pandas are a part of your life? Try to take some time out of your day, every day, for pandas. It's easy if you can make it into a routine! One easy way to remember to think of pandas is every time you go to the bathroom, sit there quietly, and ponder pandas and their mysteries. That way you can do what you need to do, and incorporate pandas. Soon enough you and pandas will be closer than you have ever imagined you could be!
Worked for me.
I'm intrigued by the idea of another piece of pizza.
Monday, August 31, 2009
(thanks one way or another
A sentence enclosed by only an opening parentheses denotes a secret which was not kept.
Babel poetry has really been doing it for me lately. Check out Marshall's blog for more info on his invention.
The following poem doesn't strictly adhere to the tenants of Babel poetry originally laid down by its founder, but like I said, its been almost three years. Also, way to go Google Translator - I had to switch to Yahoo! Babel Fish because Google Translator was too good and wasn't providing enough hilarity. Thanks Yahoo for still suckin'.
(thanks one way or another
YOU look at the effective good, truly ironic
Too badly pulls it, I didn' t knows that! Your eye constitution is very pretty!
Possession side effect right homology. Your Righteousness is true.
This Resident in one direction right one type elephant acutane.
Your eye make-up is pure beautiful!
I purely helped me.
I purely is escape yet respectively, means that work will break you as ever with, a but on the front of opposition, purely there is different his thing!
All side effects are the same. You are correct.
That which writes in the knob where he [sopreden] persona it is important:
2. So The u possession or possession dried characteristic skin skin, and the ur elder sister younger sister possession or possession oil greasy the mark skin skin, and u possession gold sends harmony ur sis possession old mysterious the brown color hair, the still way complete extremely phase elephant u woman child (non- elephant possession oil greasy either dried characteristic skin skin use human watching happening coming different or east duty no west)
3. thus u it has or had the dry skin and ur the brother she has or she had the oily skin and u they have the blonds hair and ur the $sis she has brown hair strange and however the girls u globally similarly (no as the possession the oily or dry skin makes the persons appears different or nothing)
4. where There is a dry skin and or consequently is u and blonds heads and a brown head which is strange the sibling who is to UR she or she is a oily skin and to u them there are UR $sis her there is and the young girl u similar but world-wide, when (the possession makes the meteor dry skin person, is different, or, anything does not appear),
5. where the dry skin and/or or consequently u and the head of blonds and brown head which is strange offset which to UR it or it oily skin and to u they there UR of $sis it there and small girl u similar but possession makes with meteor persona of dry skin, friend, or, that -[nibyd] it does not appear), it world, when
6. thus you have or had dry the skin and ur with the sister or had the skin oily and fair its to have and ur has to you located the bizar brown its and yet completely similar umeisjes (if it to have or dryness of the oily skin makes different people look at or n' import what),
Babel poetry has really been doing it for me lately. Check out Marshall's blog for more info on his invention.
The following poem doesn't strictly adhere to the tenants of Babel poetry originally laid down by its founder, but like I said, its been almost three years. Also, way to go Google Translator - I had to switch to Yahoo! Babel Fish because Google Translator was too good and wasn't providing enough hilarity. Thanks Yahoo for still suckin'.
(thanks one way or another
Be visible with realness, with realness good ironical this accurately, all ppl where there is a result which is identical
Appear real, really good ironic this it is precisely Your watching genuine area, genuine area good
You look truly, good satirizes this is correctly trulyYOU look at the effective good, truly ironic
Too badly pulls it, I didn' t knows that! Your eye constitution is very pretty!
It is thick the mark badly pulls it, I didn' t intellectual road that! Your Mark the eye eyeball constructs forming right very pretty mark!
Leaving medical raw harmonyPossession side effect right homology. Your Righteousness is true.
This Resident in one direction right one type elephant acutane.
Your eye make-up is pure beautiful!
I purely helped me.
I purely is escape yet respectively, means that work will break you as ever with, a but on the front of opposition, purely there is different his thing!
your oogmake-up is so pretty!
I scrutinize for 3 cyclesAll side effects are the same. You are correct.
That which writes in the knob where he [sopreden] persona it is important:
Drinks permits juicily!! The hydration is the main key!!
Drinks permits Multi waters!! Right principal key spoon for water joint work!!
PARTS OF DRINKS OF WATER!! The hydration is the main key!!
Part!! of scandal beverage Receiving is an important key!!
Part!! the beverage of scandal to obtain important key!!
MANY THE DRINKS WATER! ! The hydratie is the most important key!
1. So u has or has does the skin, and the ur sisters have or have the greasy skin, and u has the golden hair and ur sis has the strange brown hair, still completely extremely resembled u the girl (has not likely greasy either does skin to make one look like different or anything),Drinks permits Multi waters!! Right principal key spoon for water joint work!!
PARTS OF DRINKS OF WATER!! The hydration is the main key!!
Part!! of scandal beverage Receiving is an important key!!
Part!! the beverage of scandal to obtain important key!!
MANY THE DRINKS WATER! ! The hydratie is the most important key!
2. So The u possession or possession dried characteristic skin skin, and the ur elder sister younger sister possession or possession oil greasy the mark skin skin, and u possession gold sends harmony ur sis possession old mysterious the brown color hair, the still way complete extremely phase elephant u woman child (non- elephant possession oil greasy either dried characteristic skin skin use human watching happening coming different or east duty no west)
3. thus u it has or had the dry skin and ur the brother she has or she had the oily skin and u they have the blonds hair and ur the $sis she has brown hair strange and however the girls u globally similarly (no as the possession the oily or dry skin makes the persons appears different or nothing)
4. where There is a dry skin and or consequently is u and blonds heads and a brown head which is strange the sibling who is to UR she or she is a oily skin and to u them there are UR $sis her there is and the young girl u similar but world-wide, when (the possession makes the meteor dry skin person, is different, or, anything does not appear),
5. where the dry skin and/or or consequently u and the head of blonds and brown head which is strange offset which to UR it or it oily skin and to u they there UR of $sis it there and small girl u similar but possession makes with meteor persona of dry skin, friend, or, that -[nibyd] it does not appear), it world, when
6. thus you have or had dry the skin and ur with the sister or had the skin oily and fair its to have and ur has to you located the bizar brown its and yet completely similar umeisjes (if it to have or dryness of the oily skin makes different people look at or n' import what),
thanks in any event
regardless of how the impression, thanks
in any event thanks
thanks anyway
(thanks one way or another
in any case the thanks
regardless of how the impression, thanks
in any event thanks
thanks anyway
(thanks one way or another
in any case the thanks
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
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If you feel like this blog post needs explanation, feel free to ask me in the comment thread. Otherwise, let it touch your heart in whatever way seems right.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Skip to the End for Links to Pictures of Phallic Structures
1. This coffee tastes so damn good. Like sinnamon. It's so good it's sinnnnful. Hm. Good joke.
2. I was in North Carolina all last week.
3. I woke up this morning and there was a mime directing foot traffic at the corner of Huron and Michigan.
4. This city becomes such a dumb and silly circus during the Heritage festival. For some reason I can't ever take Ypsi seriously.
5. And there's no parking on my street.
6. The coffee we had in North Carolina was pretty good, but nothing is topping this right now. Unless I had a cigarette. But I don't smoke anymore. Except for sometimes.
7. There's this car-crushing event going on in depot town. Donate a car, and then WATCH IT DIE! Stick around for the Young Children event.
8. I cleared out my overflowing Spam box without thinking today. What a disappointment - it was ripe for a poem. Now I'll have to wait for next week's harvest.
9. I bought little tiny baby red fruits from the co-op today. I got them because they were cute. They were also relatively inexpensive.
10. I haven't had a beer in a week. A beer sounds really delicious.
11. Between the last point and this point, I checked out a couple blogs, and sneezed twice. Before I write the next point, I'm going to get up and blow my nose.
12. Between the last point and this point, I blew my nose, as promised - but. I also greeted Marshall, asked him if he was sticking around for awhile, he said yes. But he also couldn't hear me the first time I asked. This keeps happening. Have I been talking quieter the past few days?
13. A mystery, for sure.
14. ...
15. I LISTENED TO THE KIDS ON STRIKE SHOW THIS MORNING. IT WAS COOL. THEY PLAYED A REALLY GREAT SONG ABOUT A GUY NOT WANTING TO GO TO WORK AND JUST WANTING TO PRACTICE HIS TRUMPET. KIND OF LIKE THAT DRUM SONG BUT INSTEAD IT WAS TRUMPETS.
16. Between that last point and this one, I asked Marshall why I got almost 800 hits on my blog last week, mostly from countries in Eastern Asia and the South Pacific.
17. Midway through typing up that last point and this one, we discussed starting an affirmative action program to have white people mug other white people who are thinking that a black person is about to mug them.
18. I'm almost out of coffee.
19. I got 336 hits on Tuesday alone.
20. And they all were from a Google image search (don't know the search term), that linked to my entry about shapes. Which I wrote in June.
21. Did that side of the world all of a sudden decide they were interested in Shapes?
22. I know I've always been interested in shapes.
23. I'M A PARAKEET I'M A PARAKEET PARA PARA PARA PARA PARAKEEEEEEEEEEE
24. Between that last point and this point I decided not to put the last "t" on parakeet.
25. t
26. I made up for it in number 25.
27. While I was in North Carolina, I climbed a mountain in order to stand atop a huge phallus.
28. "They" "call" "it" "Chimney Rock."
29. I would call it Cock Rock.
30. It weirded me out that the park didn't try and capitalize on this in some kitschy way. Even the already kitschy tourist shops didn't sell "Climb Atop Chimney Rock - Giggle Giggle Snort" t-shirts. I wondered if there was something wrong with me and I was like that kid in that one movie who saw penises everywhere. But then my boyfriend's mom agreed with me.
31. OH THANK GOD.
32. It didn't bother me that this thing existed and was a tourist attraction - it just bothered me that nobody was pointing at it in wonder and excitement. I live in a town with a huge stone penis as a landmark, and trust me we're anything but classy about it. Why? Because it's a huge stone penis. That's why.
33. Phallus Shapes.
34. Reason for point 33: To continue cropping up in the search results for all the people in Australia, New Zealand and the Republic of Korea who are anxiously googling the word "shapes." And maybe get some porn-hungry people, too.
2. I was in North Carolina all last week.
3. I woke up this morning and there was a mime directing foot traffic at the corner of Huron and Michigan.
4. This city becomes such a dumb and silly circus during the Heritage festival. For some reason I can't ever take Ypsi seriously.
5. And there's no parking on my street.
6. The coffee we had in North Carolina was pretty good, but nothing is topping this right now. Unless I had a cigarette. But I don't smoke anymore. Except for sometimes.
7. There's this car-crushing event going on in depot town. Donate a car, and then WATCH IT DIE! Stick around for the Young Children event.
8. I cleared out my overflowing Spam box without thinking today. What a disappointment - it was ripe for a poem. Now I'll have to wait for next week's harvest.
9. I bought little tiny baby red fruits from the co-op today. I got them because they were cute. They were also relatively inexpensive.
10. I haven't had a beer in a week. A beer sounds really delicious.
11. Between the last point and this point, I checked out a couple blogs, and sneezed twice. Before I write the next point, I'm going to get up and blow my nose.
12. Between the last point and this point, I blew my nose, as promised - but. I also greeted Marshall, asked him if he was sticking around for awhile, he said yes. But he also couldn't hear me the first time I asked. This keeps happening. Have I been talking quieter the past few days?
13. A mystery, for sure.
14. ...
15. I LISTENED TO THE KIDS ON STRIKE SHOW THIS MORNING. IT WAS COOL. THEY PLAYED A REALLY GREAT SONG ABOUT A GUY NOT WANTING TO GO TO WORK AND JUST WANTING TO PRACTICE HIS TRUMPET. KIND OF LIKE THAT DRUM SONG BUT INSTEAD IT WAS TRUMPETS.
16. Between that last point and this one, I asked Marshall why I got almost 800 hits on my blog last week, mostly from countries in Eastern Asia and the South Pacific.
17. Midway through typing up that last point and this one, we discussed starting an affirmative action program to have white people mug other white people who are thinking that a black person is about to mug them.
18. I'm almost out of coffee.
19. I got 336 hits on Tuesday alone.
20. And they all were from a Google image search (don't know the search term), that linked to my entry about shapes. Which I wrote in June.
21. Did that side of the world all of a sudden decide they were interested in Shapes?
22. I know I've always been interested in shapes.
23. I'M A PARAKEET I'M A PARAKEET PARA PARA PARA PARA PARAKEEEEEEEEEEE
24. Between that last point and this point I decided not to put the last "t" on parakeet.
25. t
26. I made up for it in number 25.
27. While I was in North Carolina, I climbed a mountain in order to stand atop a huge phallus.
28. "They" "call" "it" "Chimney Rock."
29. I would call it Cock Rock.
30. It weirded me out that the park didn't try and capitalize on this in some kitschy way. Even the already kitschy tourist shops didn't sell "Climb Atop Chimney Rock - Giggle Giggle Snort" t-shirts. I wondered if there was something wrong with me and I was like that kid in that one movie who saw penises everywhere. But then my boyfriend's mom agreed with me.
31. OH THANK GOD.
32. It didn't bother me that this thing existed and was a tourist attraction - it just bothered me that nobody was pointing at it in wonder and excitement. I live in a town with a huge stone penis as a landmark, and trust me we're anything but classy about it. Why? Because it's a huge stone penis. That's why.
33. Phallus Shapes.
34. Reason for point 33: To continue cropping up in the search results for all the people in Australia, New Zealand and the Republic of Korea who are anxiously googling the word "shapes." And maybe get some porn-hungry people, too.
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