Wednesday, June 24, 2009

SHAPES: The Epitome of Empowerment

I'd like to dedicate this journal entry to Shapes.
They are all around us.
They move the world around us.
They ARE the world around us.


Say hello to...






My immediate favorite is the parallelogram, but I could be persuaded otherwise.

WHY SHAPES?
An excellent question. The answer to it is below.

The function of Shapes is to house color. Just like how white picket fences house gardens, and gardens house houses, and houses house you - Shapes were created and are maintained for one single purpose: giving color a place in our universe.

THE HISTORY OF SHAPES
Before Shapes were invented (archaeologists call this the "Pre-Shape Era," heretofore abbreviated "P.S.E.") , Colors were forced to scatter throughout the world. Chaos was Color's only master, and Wreckless Abandon its only describing adjective.


The picture above is a Scientist's rendering of the world during the P.S.E.

What a stupid and ugly mess it was.

Fortunately, in 1756 a group of inspired young Venetians formed The Diplomatic and Creative Aesthetic Committee of the World and Other Places. T.D.C.A.C.W.O.P. was lead by the then unrecognized genius, though now formally acknowledged, Alexander Graham Bell.

They sequestered themselves inside of a shapeless-room and came up with the solution to the chaotic shit-hole of Earth: SHAPES. With Shapes, the Earth could finally keep Color in tidy and neat portals, and we could organize, reorganize, and process Color.

It brought empowerment to the lower-classes, and stability to the floundering aristocracy.

IN WHAT HISTORICAL EVENTS HAVE SHAPES "LENT A HAND?"
Shapes have "lent many a hand." Here's just a handful of examples:
-The Fording of the Seine
-The American Silver War
-Numerous "Golf Pro and Tennis Ho" parties.
-The Chinese Cultural Revolution
-The Discovering of the Internet
-The Great Soup Drought of 2011


WHAT ARE SHAPES FAVORITE COLORS?
Tangerine.

WHAT DO SHAPES HAVE TO DO WITH ME?
Not a whole lot, actually. Shapes are nearly autonomous structures that receive minimal government subisidies in the U.S.A., U.K. and many other E.U. countries. Countries in Africa, Asia, South America, and the many Countries inside of Canada have borrowed Shapes from World Banks in order to jump-start their own Shape-programs. The banks are luckily able to offer these loans at relatively low-interest rates.
Besides the minimal tax dollars that go toward maintaining Shapes, they can keep themselves fed and watered.

Below are photos of Shapes. Some of them may surprise you! But remember, Shapes are everywhere.
Open your mind to the possibility of Shapes.












I hope you've enjoyed looking and thinking about Shapes with me! I hope that the information was concise and educational. Luckily the internet makes access to this knowledge easy and affordable. Such as like, I was able to write this whole entry in less then 20 minutes. In times past, people would have to go to college to learn all this stuff.

Remember what the Girl Scouts of America taught us: A circle is round. It has no end. That's how long I want to be your friend.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I was trying to answer the Fratelli's question 'if you were a shape, what shape would you be' and I needed to visualize them...

I am from Australia.

Simon said...

Brilliant!
I suspect the Illuminati is misdirecting people toward your page to conceal the true meaning of pyramidal type shapes.

smartie_pants315 said...

I'm doing a uni essay and couldn't remember what an actual trapezoid was called...so thank you! Helped me very much to describe the setting of a project I ran in a park that was the shape of a trapezoid!

I'm from Aus too. :)