Second to Last Day of Printing. They're, like, Haikus.

Perceived punchlines are in bold to aid in comprehending hilarity.



Ah, Yes. The open road. Nothing quite like it.
The fresh air. The rolling hills.
I do wish there were a healthier selection of restaurants along the way.
A-ha! I think I smell a business opportunity.
That's not opportunity, Dad. We're passing a cattle farm.



GYM
Try our boot camp classes
I WAS DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED!



I worry about Sakura playing in the waves. What if she encounters a shark?
Oh, I'm sure we can find a marine biologist who can stitch it back up.
Grrrrr.



Who is our sponsor?
Me. I don't enjoy fundraising.
Alfie's dad said his company could sponsor us.
That's the other reason.
Money is Money.
Some money is more expensive than other money
Alfie's dad wants to know if you got Alfie that pro contract yet.



So...we begin another day of unending summer fun!
You have prepared some fun green popsicles, and I have chosen a fine fun rerun of "F-Troop" for our television viewing pleasure!
Let the fun begin!
Uh-oh.
Cables out!
...at least we have fun popsicles.
I made 'em with string bean juice!



HEY! I SMELL RIBS!
YEAH! WITH BARBECUE SAUCE AND POTATO SALAD!
DRAT! IT'S JUST GRIMES' SHIRT.
?




"Your problems are caused by all-or-nothing thinking. It's either that, or you don't have any problems."




Congratulations!
We have reviewed your manuscript and wish to publish your incredible tale of survival...





Hi.
I'm your neighbor from two doors down.
Hi. I'm Sarah Bucket.
I'm Scott.
Nice to meet you.
Um...is this your tree?




Mwa Ha Ha Ha! Fools! The identity of the one who stole your precious plank of wood is at long last revealed!
Behold...
IT IS I!!
You know this guy?
No clue. You don't know him?




Harry, A Bar in Spain is Attracting customers by encouraging them to insult the Bartender.
the best insults Gets you a Free Drink and some tapas.
You know what would be More Fun?
If the customers PAID to be insulted...didn't you try that.
People stayed away in Droves.
It'll catch on eventually.




Ugh. You again.
THE PROBLEM WITH A MEMORY FOAM MATTRESS.




"Marm! Stop begging!"




*meow
*meow
HI!
Never you mind whose ringtone this is!




ok...so what would Capt. Eddie do?
Think about it
oh...yeah...
ok...ready? One...Two...Three!
BELCH
P-Tooie
Woo-Hoo!
With the exception of gravity, that worked great.
Well, I didn't say it was a perfect plan




What are ya doin', Brutus?
I'm watching birds!
Nosy!




Why are erasers pink? It's not very manly!
I've learned a lot from the general
What could you learn from him?
Z
Well, one thing...
...Age doesn't bring wisdom